The Lost Art of Consideration and Manners
A while ago I went to my niece's birthday party. My sister had carefully planned everything, made gift bags for the people who said they were coming and planned food accordingly. Then, the day of the party several people and their kids who had said they were coming didn't show up. It's not a huge deal, but she especially planned for a certain amount of people, and it makes people feel bad when people don't come to things.
Two other examples: Recently a friend of mine had a dinner party and one of the guests brought two other people the host didn't know without telling her, and without much explanation. Another friend had a birthday party and a few of her friends came to the party, but never came up and even said hello to her.
I feel like things like this are getting more and more common and more and more acceptable. I know everyone is busy, busy, and everyone thinks their life is crazier than everyone else's, but I just feel like people blow things off easy and don't even call or act like they are sorry. If you say you are going to be there, be there. If you are going to bring more people, make a quick call and ask, or at least warn the host. I just feel like it is getting more excusable to be a flake, also with responsibilities.
I may have a little tainted of a view because I feel like I was brought up on the very proper side of the spectrum. My grandma corrected me when I said yeah instead of yes, and we were always taught how to be a proper host and have good manners. But is this just not being taught in families, do people think manners are overrated?
I recently found an article on Yahoo titled, "25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9," but I think it applies to everyone.
Here are some of my favorites:
Manner #3
Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.
This is true of adults too, since when is interrupting ok? I have also been in a group of people talking and then someone starts a completely different conversation with me when I was trying to listen to what someone else across the group was saying. Then it makes it hard for everyone to hear because their are two conversations going.
Manner #4
If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.
Manner #8 When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.
Sounds simple enough right? I know sometimes there isn't enough time to really ask back, but sometimes I feel conversations are so one-sided.
Manner #16 Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.
I have seen so many people at events, or even at church or with friends texting or on their phones and it really does make others around you feel bad.
Manner #17 If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."
I have noticed this a lot especially being pregnant, people bump into me and don't even say anything.
Manner #18 Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.
Or bite your nails, gross.
Manner #19
As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.
This one I think people actually do pretty well, but its always good to remember.
Manner #25
Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.
Maybe it is just a few recent events that have clouded my opinion, and I really hope people are still teaching their kids good manners. I also realize that even though people may know what should be acceptable in situations they don't always do them or they forget, but I just hope people at least know, even if they don't always act on it.
Two other examples: Recently a friend of mine had a dinner party and one of the guests brought two other people the host didn't know without telling her, and without much explanation. Another friend had a birthday party and a few of her friends came to the party, but never came up and even said hello to her.
I feel like things like this are getting more and more common and more and more acceptable. I know everyone is busy, busy, and everyone thinks their life is crazier than everyone else's, but I just feel like people blow things off easy and don't even call or act like they are sorry. If you say you are going to be there, be there. If you are going to bring more people, make a quick call and ask, or at least warn the host. I just feel like it is getting more excusable to be a flake, also with responsibilities.
I may have a little tainted of a view because I feel like I was brought up on the very proper side of the spectrum. My grandma corrected me when I said yeah instead of yes, and we were always taught how to be a proper host and have good manners. But is this just not being taught in families, do people think manners are overrated?
I recently found an article on Yahoo titled, "25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9," but I think it applies to everyone.
Here are some of my favorites:
Manner #3
Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.
This is true of adults too, since when is interrupting ok? I have also been in a group of people talking and then someone starts a completely different conversation with me when I was trying to listen to what someone else across the group was saying. Then it makes it hard for everyone to hear because their are two conversations going.
Manner #4
If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.
Manner #8 When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.
Sounds simple enough right? I know sometimes there isn't enough time to really ask back, but sometimes I feel conversations are so one-sided.
Manner #16 Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.
I have seen so many people at events, or even at church or with friends texting or on their phones and it really does make others around you feel bad.
Manner #17 If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."
I have noticed this a lot especially being pregnant, people bump into me and don't even say anything.
Manner #18 Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.
Or bite your nails, gross.
Manner #19
As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.
This one I think people actually do pretty well, but its always good to remember.
Manner #25
Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.
Maybe it is just a few recent events that have clouded my opinion, and I really hope people are still teaching their kids good manners. I also realize that even though people may know what should be acceptable in situations they don't always do them or they forget, but I just hope people at least know, even if they don't always act on it.
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